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African Niña: Surviving a Narcissist, Part 1

Hi, everyone, I am new here. I believe learning is a process in which everyone takes part in. I would like to give my personal experience on dealing with a narcissist for 5 years. I met my Narcissistic ex in 2018. My friend, Miss R tagged along with me. We were to buy makeup and I didn't intend to meet up with a potential suitor. After buying the goodies. My friend told me that The Polyp was in town and she disliked the guy he had a very weird personality and she would like to put him in his place because he used to behave in a funny manner. My friend told me she used to have a crush on The Polyp because they were in the same class but it faded because as he grew older he wasn't as attractive. I finally met The Polyp and I was not even interested in him at first glance because he wasn't my type. My friend introduced me to The Polyp and she told The Polyp that I was a law student. The Polyp expressed interest in me. I wasn't really aware that he was into me I just figured that maybe he was talkative because he didn't want me to feel left out or unwelcomed. I never exchanged numbers or anything I went my way. My friend later gave The Polyp my number and I was single at that time. He'd write me messages and I would ignore. The Polyp denied dating or having feelings for my friend so I started dating him because he became persistent. Being Sapio sexual, I realized The Polyp was into academic writing and he was a civil engineering student. The Polyp was moving fast, that was a red flag that I later on realized. All of a sudden he doesn't want me to go back to where I used to live during weekends or he'd ensure that I missed my friday classes. Being a law student and having the polyp in the pic greatly affected my grades. He would wake up with demands he wanted me to clean up after him and my classes were at 8. I was love bombed, The Polyp took me to hospital made sure I had my H.pyroli meds. I went on Judicial attachment to Mombasa and upon coming back. The Polyp had moved to my neighborhood. I stopped living with my girlfriend now that The Polyp disliked her and my young sister needed a place to stay. I had to get a house for both of us. I was making the application for my sister to join college and I had moved to my own place and The Polyp had his own place, which in retrospect I realized was another red flag.

I had a childhood friend that used to visit me when I was at my friend's place we have known each other all our lives. My friend texted me that he'd be in my neighborhood. I am a good cook, I can throw down a nice pilau for friends and family. My friend, Mr E texted that he'd want me to prepare pilau for him. Just as I was about to leave to go to my house to prepare pilau for my friend The Polyp snatched my phone from my hand and went through it. The next thing I knew, he sucker punched me. While I was on the sofa, he sat on me and continued throwing hefty blows at me. I got so worked up because I had done nothing wrong if I wanted to date Mr. E I would have I had known him all my life. I bit The Polyp's chest; I dug as deep as my teeth would hold and made fiasco designs on his face with my nails. I was screaming and telling him I had enough of his micro managing schemes. I over powered him and ran into the kitchen to pick a knife. I felt so disrespected. My dad had never raised his voice or a finger at me. The Polyp had the audacity to lock the door and text my friend, Mr. E, blaming him for making him beat me up. Another red flag. He went from being a monster to a loving boyfriend that was overpowered by rage and momentarily insanity. Blood was oozing from his face and chest. I broke his pinkie. I insisted that he should give me his phone. I wanted to check his inbox messages as well. You can imagine what kind of dirt I found in his phone. He was chatting with multiple women, including the next door neighbor. I wanted to scream. I wanted to kill him he for beating me but, I didn't. Instead, I became empathetic. He had locked me in his house, and I wasn't allowed to leave until we talk. He locked me inside for two days. The Polyp was on his knees everyday begging me for forgiveness. I eventually forgave him and he started love bombing me again. He

gave me 10000 KSH to change my entire wardrobe, which I eventually realized was a power control check he was running on me. He didn't like the trousers I had on and I had a torn blouse. He helped me purchase an account and contributed 20k KSH while I paid 60k KSH towards acquiring my own account. Earlier, before The Polyp moved, I would go visit The Polyp at Limuru, which was at the outskirts of Nairobi. He wanted me to quit school. He isolated me from my family and friends. The Polyp would sleep with door keys in his pocket. He would lock me in the house whenever he wanted to go out. I dodged going to his place because I realized he was a control freak. He changed tactic, he would come to town on friday so that I'd agree to see him and later go stay at his place for the weekends. I previously lived with my friends and they started to realize that I had slowly started to drift apart from them. The Polyp would tell me that upon seeing my friends he realized that they were bad company, another red flag. He said by just looking at a girl he would tell that the girl had been sleeping around with multiple men. The Polyp had me walking on eggshells. At the same time, my crush used to text me, I was doing nothing wrong I was just not into The Polyp I even told him I wanted to leave him upon realizing that he had a weird way of living.

My story will be continued in a follow-up post.

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